Consultants and Agents and Spies, Oh My!
by AnimeArchAngel
Summary: Patrick Jane and the CBI start off a new day just like any other; with a new murder and a new case.


"Jane, were you even listening at all?"

CBI consultant Patrick Jane jumped at the sound of his colleague's irritated voice. She had been giving a briefing on their new case, and he had fallen asleep once again. It was just _boring_.

"Mm, sorry Lisbon, what was that?" he smiled after letting out a sleepy sigh. The senior agent threw up her arms in frustration, making agent Cho chuckle. He quickly stopped after Lisbon shot him a look.

"Why do I even bother with you?" she asked, turning back to Patrick.

"Because you love working with me," Jane said as he sat up on his couch and straightened his vest. Lisbon only rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, and Rigsby hates eating. For the rest of you," she said sarcastically, and then looked back to the other three members of her team, "we'll take two separate vehicles in case we need to split up. I call not riding with Jane."

"Same here!"

"Right."

"And I- Aw man…" Rigsby sighed, while Jane grabbed his jacket with a grin.

"You'll fill me in on the case, right?" he asked as agents Cho and Van Pelt filed out of the room.

"Sure, whatever."

"Hey!" Lisbon scowled. "Let him suffer for falling asleep!"

"Eh, she doesn't mean that," Patrick said to Rigsby. "She knows she needs me."

"I do no-"

"Now come along, my dear Watson," Jane smirked, sporting an incredibly fake British accent.

"You, Sherlock Holmes?" Lisbon frowned as she grabbed her keys. "Yeah right. Come on Rigsby."

After grabbing a bag of chips from his desk, agent Rigsby followed the two out of the room, preparing for an irritating car ride with Patrick Jane to the scene of the crime.

As Wayne Rigsby had expected, riding to the scene with Jane wasn't a very pleasant experience. The agent had tried to fill him in on the case they were in charge of, but before he got even two minutes into the explanation, the consultant started a conversation about Van Pelt. Rigsby was all too relieved when they pulled up to the scene of the crime. The two jumped out of the car and made their way over to where the rest of the team was standing with one of the local police officers.

"Jennifer Donovan, 32 years old. Recently divorced a Julian Shaw. She has one son, Tanner Donovan, 14 years old," Rigsby muttered to Patrick as they joined the group. On the ground in front of them was the body of a woman.

"We can't find a murder weapon anywhere," the officer stated with a sigh. "It looks like she was killed with some kind of blunt weapon though. A few hits to the back of the head, and she was done."

"Killed elsewhere, then," Cho piped in. "Just dumped here as a precaution."

As the agents continued talking about things Jane couldn't care less about, he got down on his hands and knees and looked over the body more closely. He gave the body a sniff, and then attempted to lift up her arm before Lisbon yelled at him about putting on gloves.

"Right, right, sorry," he replied, taking a pair from Rigsby. Jane then proceeded to examine the victim, lifting up her right arm. After a few more seconds, he stood up.

"Well?" Teresa Lisbon questioned. "You want to tell us what you know, or are you going to keep it to yourself?"

"Umm, well," Patrick began, "the bruises on her arm suggest an abusive relationship with her ex-husband, probably why she divorced him."

"There's motive right there," Grace Van Pelt stated.

"She works at a nail place, too."

"How do you gather that?" Rigsby asked.

"Well, her fingernails are awfully nice," Jane replied. "And the business card in her pocket says so."

"Is that all, Jane?" Lisbon said a bit angrily.

"Um, yeah."

"Alright, Forensics can come in and-"

"Well, actually, Lisbon," Patrick began. "The wedding ring on her finger," he emphasized the words wedding ring by making air quotes with his fingers, "is actually a two-way radio, which would suggest that either she was having a relationship that was so secret she couldn't even talk on the phone with the guy, or," he paused, bending down to look at the ring once more, "she was some kind of spy."

"…And you didn't think that information was important at all?" Lisbon cried angrily. "You were just going to keep it to yourself?"

"Well, you know…" Patrick trailed off.

"Anything _else_?"

"Her favorite flavor of ice cream is chocolate."

Agent Lisbon groaned and slapped Jane on the shoulder.

"Whaaat? You said you wanted all the information!" he grinned, following Lisbon as she began to walk away.


End file.
